Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
