Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
