Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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