so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize