He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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