I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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