Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
