I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
