Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
