your room smells of hookers.
And success
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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