Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
