Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
