Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
