btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My pussy is not your playground.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize