He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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