Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
