my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
