im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
