you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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