she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
