Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
