What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
His hands were made for my vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
