he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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