Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
