What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
