I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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