There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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