i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My breasts were aching with rage.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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