it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
