I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
