I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
