Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
