Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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