Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's like iHOP with fire
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
