I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just crazy horny about you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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