All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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