put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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