So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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