He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
