can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
