I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
