he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
