Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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