I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
