Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
