am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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