That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
