i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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