just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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