Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
