I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
