I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
