Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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