Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
