you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
