Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
