I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have already put on my inside pants.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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