Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
