In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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