The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
