whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
