You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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