If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We're too hungover to prance.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
