Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
