Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize