Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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