my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
