i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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